I sat down to write a review about some matte eye shadows but my fingers are typing about something else. Inside feelings need to be poured out first.
Today is a Mother's Day and I had a rough one. I used to be hiding away from Valentine's Day. Now I am afraid of the Mother's Day. Me and my husband's affords of a child have been failing for considerable amount of time now. Especially after a failed ivf, I have been changing drastically. I am angry. I m angry that my body is failing me, I am angry that these procedures, medications, doctor's visits cost a fortune, I am angry that I do not have the money to spend on these things at this age, I am angry that we are manipulated and keep putting our selves into more debt. Especially I can not stand the combination of two words: "what if".
According to statistics,the age 35 is the magic number. By the age of 35, you have better chance of pregnancy with ivf and end up with a successful birth. No need to mention, your chance of pregnancy increases with repetition. I am about to expire in five months.
And all I want to do is save our money and go to Italy with my husband. But instead, we are going to see another doctor this month. New consultation fee and new uncovered blood tests and ultrasounds are on the way. With all my heart, I do not want to do it. But again, what if it would be too late after Italy????
No comments:
Post a Comment